Investing in DoomCorp
Many wise investors are looking to rise to the top with the only company bent on megalomania. Investors see a sound financial play book, and a strategy of ruthless cunning and guile, combined with a potential opportunity to shield themselves from being beaten daily for not meeting quota, living in squalor and eating a substance our bioengineers assure us is mostly safe for human consumption over the short term.
What they fail to realize is that DoomCorp would rather bide its time and take it all from you rather than cater to your incessent whining and bothersome drive for shareholder returns. DoomCorp is not publicly traded and its business of aligning itself with rogue nations does not easily meet with common investor expectations. DoomCorp accepts donations in exchange for consideration of mercy when the assention begins. Send us an email for more information.
When all tremble before the awesome force of DoomCorp, those who placate us in these early days will see fewer lashings and less public humiliation. They will likely also experience a substantial reduction in exposure to human excrement on a daily basis.